Saying Goodbye

Well, here we are. 12 days till lift off.

Three days ago I would have told you that my life was lining up pretty nicely. I was excited to start this new journey. I was ready to move away. Meet new people. Discover new places. I was leaning into the exciting work I am about to be doing.  Leaning into living in a city. Three days ago, I couldn’t wait to get out of my small town and small condo.

However, my Spotify playlists of the last two days are saying something else. To just give you hint of what that might be, yesterday I listened to a playlist called Goodbye for 4 hrs. I think the reality of me leaving crept up on me. I wasn’t expecting to have to say goodbye. Yes, I was expecting to say goodbye to my family, but I will talk to them and see them on vacation. I already said goodbye to my college friends when we graduated. So I thought Goodbye wasn’t something I was going to have to do. Boy was I wrong! Going against my plan for my perfect goodbye, I had unexpected people come into my life this summer.

I have been blessed this summer to work at Eno Terra this summer. I have worked at restaurants before.  In past, I enjoyed my coworkers, but never really found more than one or two people I was ‘close’ to. This was not the case this summer. People were kind and welcoming, in the sassiest and most sarcastic way (which is exactly the way I act. We all got along pretty quickly). They were funny, warm, over the top. We had fun. They got my humor. I laughed more times at work on a daily basis than I have in a long time. I had deep, moving, honest conversations at the bar after shifts. I was not expecting these people. I was not expecting to be changed. I was not expecting people to trust me so freely. I was not expecting to trust them so freely. I was not expecting to have a “survival” job that most nights I did not want to leave at the end of the night. I was not expecting to be profoundly sad at leaving my job. I was not expecting to have to say goodbye. So to those from Eno Terra, I hate you for making me invested in you. And thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I will miss you deeply.

As I switch from my goodbye playlist to Another Day from Rent, I am beginning to lean back into the excitement of the uncertainty of the experience to come (The music I listen to always reveals and influences what I am feeling. I am guided by my musical nature.) While, I know that this is going to be a crazy roller coaster of emotions for the next few weeks, I am intrigued to see what comes next. I am nervous about the ways in which I will be pushed out of my comfort zone this upcoming year. I am anxious about living with four other young adults, as learning to live with new people is always an adjustment. But I am also excited to have new playmates! I am excited about the people I will meet. The skills I will learn. Finding new ways to share my passions with others. I don’t know what is is to come, but I kind of love that.

Before I wrap up this first blog post, I want to say thank you to all those who donated to my fundraising goal. I am excited to say that I raised all $4,000 dollars! People’s generosity in giving and in spirit was heartwarming. You all shared your excitement, support, and belief with me. You are my foundation. You all are the reason that I know, even when it is hard, I can do this! Thank you! And talk to you all shortly.